I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately. To be perfectly honest, it's hard for me not to. Especially since it all boils down to my work in education (Kels...I'm sorry that you're reading this, considering how often I talk about it). But seriously, what else could it be about?
About four years ago, I was taking a literacy class at WWU. Oddly enough, my school, Rainier Beach, was brought up in lecture. One day, about halfway through class, my professor began talking the association between poverty, inequity, and student achievement gaps. For many who may not know, this was also the time that bussing and inequity between the schools in Seattle was a hot button issue....so Seattle Public Schools was being looked at with incredible scrutiny. Naturally, Rainier Beach was brought up in our lecture. Huge gaps in achievement. Violent neighborhood. Extremely high teacher turnover rate. These issues all affected the kids in the building. They continue to do so today. While we were discussing and debating these issues, I could not help but think to myself how awesome working at Beach might be. I'm currently in my second year at the Beach. It's my first gig...how fitting.
When my friends first found out that I got a job at Rainier Beach, two comments were often coupled with the many congratulations:
1) I better like basketball.
2) I better own a kevlar vest.
It's true...the culture is rough. I've been cussed at more times than I can count. I've been threatened. I've certainly helped break up fights (helped restrain a kid, even). But I've developed a very thick skin, and I no longer see individuals who are violent and will take any opportunity to misbehave. In these extreme cases, I see kids who don't know how to function in society. I see kids crying out for help. And that's what I do every day at work...I use music as the vehicle to reach my students. I use it as a tool to make my students strive to be better than they are. I use it to help them learn how to succeed in today's brutal world. Do I want the music to sound good? Of course...after all, I am judged on producing a quality product. I'm also incredibly prideful and slightly arrogant. But most of all, I want to help my students succeed in life outside of our little brick building.
I've not always thought of it this way. By the end of last year, all I wanted was to get out. My morale was very low and I was desperately trying to find a way out of returning to Beach for a second year. At the same time, I did not want to be far from Kelsey, so my options were limited. I applied for three jobs...Eckstein Middle School, Burlington-Edison High School, and Kulshan/Shuksan Middle School. Each time I applied for a new job, I knew that it was not God's will for me to leave Rainier Beach. But I ignored His calling for this part of my life. Like I already said, I just wanted out. I had some amazing interviews (Eckstein, inparticular). I strutted my stuff and made myself out to be what I thought was an excellent candidate. However, I didn't get any of these jobs. The Lord gently told me that this was not his plan for me. I finally got the point, and begrudgingly accepted my position at Beach for a second year. Now, as we reach the end of first semester, I realize that my expectations for disappointment could not have been more wrong. I have been given a wealth of students who consistently impress me. They are capable of amazing things. They are the most pleasant and beautiful kids I have ever had the privilege to work with. Now, more than ever, I see how beautiful this school can be, even amidst its dysfunction. The Lord's provision has been an incredible blessing.
He wouldn't let me leave, and I am so glad that I finally chose to obey Him. There's this verse from the book of Micah that I haven't been able to get out of my head lately. I realize that I may be taking this slightly out of context (it specifically references the coming of our savior). But it also speaks beautifully of God's faithfulness and it seems more fitting than ever right now:
"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord. I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me."
-Micah 7:7 (NKJ)
In closing, there are huge achievement gaps at my school. From a musical perspective, the majority of my students sing or play at a sixth, maybe seventh grade level. I'm afraid I may have to start from scratch in certain areas next year, specifically in the concert band. But if you look beyond all the frustrations and concerns, you will find a group of students who will take risks. You will find individuals who want to be better than they are and rise above the low expectations they have been labeled with. Most of all, you will find a wonderful group of kids who will make you damn proud.
About four years ago, I was taking a literacy class at WWU. Oddly enough, my school, Rainier Beach, was brought up in lecture. One day, about halfway through class, my professor began talking the association between poverty, inequity, and student achievement gaps. For many who may not know, this was also the time that bussing and inequity between the schools in Seattle was a hot button issue....so Seattle Public Schools was being looked at with incredible scrutiny. Naturally, Rainier Beach was brought up in our lecture. Huge gaps in achievement. Violent neighborhood. Extremely high teacher turnover rate. These issues all affected the kids in the building. They continue to do so today. While we were discussing and debating these issues, I could not help but think to myself how awesome working at Beach might be. I'm currently in my second year at the Beach. It's my first gig...how fitting.
When my friends first found out that I got a job at Rainier Beach, two comments were often coupled with the many congratulations:
1) I better like basketball.
2) I better own a kevlar vest.
It's true...the culture is rough. I've been cussed at more times than I can count. I've been threatened. I've certainly helped break up fights (helped restrain a kid, even). But I've developed a very thick skin, and I no longer see individuals who are violent and will take any opportunity to misbehave. In these extreme cases, I see kids who don't know how to function in society. I see kids crying out for help. And that's what I do every day at work...I use music as the vehicle to reach my students. I use it as a tool to make my students strive to be better than they are. I use it to help them learn how to succeed in today's brutal world. Do I want the music to sound good? Of course...after all, I am judged on producing a quality product. I'm also incredibly prideful and slightly arrogant. But most of all, I want to help my students succeed in life outside of our little brick building.
I've not always thought of it this way. By the end of last year, all I wanted was to get out. My morale was very low and I was desperately trying to find a way out of returning to Beach for a second year. At the same time, I did not want to be far from Kelsey, so my options were limited. I applied for three jobs...Eckstein Middle School, Burlington-Edison High School, and Kulshan/Shuksan Middle School. Each time I applied for a new job, I knew that it was not God's will for me to leave Rainier Beach. But I ignored His calling for this part of my life. Like I already said, I just wanted out. I had some amazing interviews (Eckstein, inparticular). I strutted my stuff and made myself out to be what I thought was an excellent candidate. However, I didn't get any of these jobs. The Lord gently told me that this was not his plan for me. I finally got the point, and begrudgingly accepted my position at Beach for a second year. Now, as we reach the end of first semester, I realize that my expectations for disappointment could not have been more wrong. I have been given a wealth of students who consistently impress me. They are capable of amazing things. They are the most pleasant and beautiful kids I have ever had the privilege to work with. Now, more than ever, I see how beautiful this school can be, even amidst its dysfunction. The Lord's provision has been an incredible blessing.
He wouldn't let me leave, and I am so glad that I finally chose to obey Him. There's this verse from the book of Micah that I haven't been able to get out of my head lately. I realize that I may be taking this slightly out of context (it specifically references the coming of our savior). But it also speaks beautifully of God's faithfulness and it seems more fitting than ever right now:
"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord. I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me."
-Micah 7:7 (NKJ)
In closing, there are huge achievement gaps at my school. From a musical perspective, the majority of my students sing or play at a sixth, maybe seventh grade level. I'm afraid I may have to start from scratch in certain areas next year, specifically in the concert band. But if you look beyond all the frustrations and concerns, you will find a group of students who will take risks. You will find individuals who want to be better than they are and rise above the low expectations they have been labeled with. Most of all, you will find a wonderful group of kids who will make you damn proud.
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