summer reading

I have to say, this has been one crazy summer! Wedding prep, marriage, honeymoon (yeah, Maui!), and lots of time spent thinking about and prepping for what should be a pretty good school year. Busy times, indeed!

Luckily, I've been able to spend a lot of time relaxing as well. Which means I've spent time playing Little Big Planet (1 and 2...I'm kinda addicted) and reading some very interesting books. Being able to read a bunch has been an extremely fulfilling way to spend large chunks of my summer...even though it's probably not nearly what some of my friends and colleagues get through! But I thought I'd share anyway!

• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Ken Kesey) has a great story and some awesome characters. There were a lot of times where I could not stop smiling while reading. The characters, descriptions, and plot are all so vivid and real. I also really love how it's set in the Pacific Northwest. I really need to read Sometimes a Great Notion sometime.
• Child of God (Cormac McCarthy) was very strange and upsetting. Gotta say...I'm really not a fan of reading detailed accounts of necrophilia. Forced myself to finish it since it was so short and quick to read. It was disappointing to be perfectly honest...I was a huge fan of The Road and No Country for Old Men. Too bad, really.
• Erasing Hell: What God Said About Eternity and the Things We've Made Up (Francis Chan & Preston Sprinkle) was an interesting read for me. Anybody who's talked to me in the past few months about Christianity can attest to the fact that I've been pretty intrigued by Rob Bell, an evangelical pastor who's been very controversial in the Christian community. Chan and Sprinkle's book is a very good response to Bell's Love Wins. The best part about it, in my opinion, is how respectful the two authors are to other points of view. In reference to the existence of Hell, Chan and Preston claim that "we can't be wrong on this one." And they're right. An important discussion to be had, for sure.
• The Gunslinger (Stephen King) is the first volume in a very long and excellent series called The Dark Tower. I've read the first three books, but it's been at least eight years since I've picked a Dark Tower book up. Thought I'd give myself a refresher. The writing style takes some getting used to, but this is darn fine storytelling!
• American Gods (Neil Gaiman) is the book I am currently reading. It's very strange and I'm not sure exactly what's happening yet, but it is so freakin cool...I just don't know what else to say!

So...school starts in two weeks. I'm aiming to finish American Gods somewhat soon-ish. And I have a good list going for what should come next. I'm thinking about Maus by Art Spiegelman, Silence by Shusaku Endo, and Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell & Don Golden. Hopefully I can get through some great reading before things get too crazy at Beach this year!

the little things

For the past year or so I've been really into working out and getting in shape. My favorite way to do this has been by running the treadmill at the gym. I did this fairly frequently. However, as the end of the past school year approached, I became very stressed and tired. Essentially, I quit and never really picked it back up.

After I returned from my honeymoon in Maui, I decided to start back up again. I live in a wonderful part of Seattle, and really enjoy running around my neighborhood. While it isn't something I am incredibly excited for all the time, I find it soothing.

Tonight's run was very special for me. A few random things stood out to me in a profound way.

-I started running uphill...decided to take it too fast...that set the tone for the night's run. I proceeded to run the hardest I have in a while.

-As I ran by the park, there were three kids (middle school?) hanging out nearby. They randomly called out to me..."Hey runner!" and "Keep on running!" So silly, but pretty cool nonetheless.

-I ended up running by a block party where a live band was playing the blues. There were probably about fifteen people gathered around them, surrounded by music and twilight. Strangely beautiful.

The end of the run was somewhat brutal. I wanted to quit...but I was fueled by the idea that I needed to finish what I started. Ended my run in a sprint. In the last few minutes I kept praising God for the little things that make their way into each of our lives. It was a wonderful experience and I am thankful for it.

city limits

Sometimes it's nice to get out of the city limits of Seattle. Today was full of travel. I was all over the place.

Started by waking up and making breakfast for Kelsey. Discovered something new to add to the recipe book: banana pancakes...nothing special by any means. But it was nice to have something new and different Kels really enjoyed it...success.

Our first stop was Enumclaw. Today, we celebrated Kelsey's mom's birthday. So much fun. To start off, I haven't seen the Henderson family in quite some time...it was definitely nice to hang around the house and catch up with everybody. We went out to a late dinner at a very nice Italian restaraunt (forgot the name) in Sumner.....I haven't been there in forever! So nostalgic! I had the crab filled ravioli........yummy....but waaaay too rich. The next two hours were filled with good eats and better conversation. We eventually found ourselves engaged in a discussion regarding dating within the Christian community. It was interesting to hear such strong beliefs regarding dating in the Christian circle. I enjoyed it because I found myself at odds with some of the ideas presented.

    --I wonder if I'll ever really understand the stereotypical Christian "dating community." It's not my place to judge but, personally, I believe people think too much. When Kels and I started dating, I wasn't a Christian. Sure, I was searching...but still...definitely not following Christ. After much discussion and soul searching on my part, I made the decison to follow Christ. Turned out very well for me, obviously! I'm glad Kels took that chance with me. Of course, it won't always turn out like it did for me. Which is why we must be careful if we're dating outside the Christian community. But the idea that we must limit our options or be "good friends" before anything else (kinda unrelated, but an idea I've heard more than once) is kind of ridiculous, in my opinion. Dating is so you can get to know somebody...no pressure! Anyways....done with my side rant.

I hung out in Enumclaw for the remainder of the evening. As I was driving back to Seattle, I got a text message from Laura saying, "Bianco wants u to come drink with us quickly get ur ass over here." So...I ended up in Bellevue, in the pub by 1AM. Hung out and had a few drinks with some old friends from Western. They were in Bellevue for the NWMENC conference. Even though I was only with them for an hour or less, it felt longer. It felt like I was back in Bellingham, at a local bar with my friends. I really enjoyed myself and wish I had ended up there earlier in the evening.

And now, I'm back home in Seattle. Seriously, it's nice to get out of the city limits sometimes. So much of the time, I feel like a robot. Go to work. Go home. Sleep. Go to work. Go home. Go to work. Go to Bellingham. Go home. Sleep. Go to work. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I don't have a lot of really close friends in Seattle...and, unfortunately, it's been hard to see the friends I do have in town. Lately, I've been so exhausted at the end of the day that I just go home and lounge around...meaning, I pass out. Wake up. Go to work. I love my job, but I am so glad that mid-winter break is here. Such a relief, and I intend to make the most of it =)

thoughts on my job and purpose

I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately. To be perfectly honest, it's hard for me not to. Especially since it all boils down to my work in education (Kels...I'm sorry that you're reading this, considering how often I talk about it). But seriously, what else could it be about?

About four years ago, I was taking a literacy class at WWU. Oddly enough, my school, Rainier Beach, was brought up in lecture. One day, about halfway through class, my professor began talking the association between poverty, inequity, and student achievement gaps. For many who may not know, this was also the time that bussing and inequity between the schools in Seattle was a hot button issue....so Seattle Public Schools was being looked at with incredible scrutiny. Naturally, Rainier Beach was brought up in our lecture. Huge gaps in achievement. Violent neighborhood. Extremely high teacher turnover rate. These issues all affected the kids in the building. They continue to do so today. While we were discussing and debating these issues, I could not help but think to myself how awesome working at Beach might be. I'm currently in my second year at the Beach. It's my first gig...how fitting.

When my friends first found out that I got a job at Rainier Beach, two comments were often coupled with the many congratulations:
1) I better like basketball.
2) I better own a kevlar vest.

It's true...the culture is rough. I've been cussed at more times than I can count. I've been threatened. I've certainly helped break up fights (helped restrain a kid, even). But I've developed a very thick skin, and I no longer see individuals who are violent and will take any opportunity to misbehave. In these extreme cases, I see kids who don't know how to function in society. I see kids crying out for help. And that's what I do every day at work...I use music as the vehicle to reach my students. I use it as a tool to make my students strive to be better than they are. I use it to help them learn how to succeed in today's brutal world. Do I want the music to sound good? Of course...after all, I am judged on producing a quality product. I'm also incredibly prideful and slightly arrogant. But most of all, I want to help my students succeed in life outside of our little brick building.

I've not always thought of it this way. By the end of last year, all I wanted was to get out. My morale was very low and I was desperately trying to find a way out of returning to Beach for a second year. At the same time, I did not want to be far from Kelsey, so my options were limited. I applied for three jobs...Eckstein Middle School, Burlington-Edison High School, and Kulshan/Shuksan Middle School. Each time I applied for a new job, I knew that it was not God's will for me to leave Rainier Beach. But I ignored His calling for this part of my life. Like I already said, I just wanted out. I had some amazing interviews (Eckstein, inparticular). I strutted my stuff and made myself out to be what I thought was an excellent candidate. However, I didn't get any of these jobs. The Lord gently told me that this was not his plan for me. I finally got the point, and begrudgingly accepted my position at Beach for a second year. Now, as we reach the end of first semester, I realize that my expectations for disappointment could not have been more wrong. I have been given a wealth of students who consistently impress me. They are capable of amazing things. They are the most pleasant and beautiful kids I have ever had the privilege to work with. Now, more than ever, I see how beautiful this school can be, even amidst its dysfunction. The Lord's provision has been an incredible blessing.

He wouldn't let me leave, and I am so glad that I finally chose to obey Him. There's this verse from the book of Micah that I haven't been able to get out of my head lately. I realize that I may be taking this slightly out of context (it specifically references the coming of our savior). But it also speaks beautifully of God's faithfulness and it seems more fitting than ever right now:
"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord. I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me."
   -Micah 7:7 (NKJ)

In closing, there are huge achievement gaps at my school. From a musical perspective, the majority of my students sing or play at a sixth, maybe seventh grade level.  I'm afraid I may have to start from scratch in certain areas next year, specifically in the concert band. But if you look beyond all the frustrations and concerns, you will find a group of students who will take risks. You will find individuals who want to be better than they are and rise above the low expectations they have been labeled with. Most of all, you will find a wonderful group of kids who will make you damn proud.